Reason for betrayal
by Moments of Insanity
Summary: A look in why one of the Generals betrayed the Moon Kingdom.


Reason for betrayal

By: Moments of Insanity

Date : Sometime in 2002

Summery: A look in why one of the Generals betrayed the Moon Kingdom.

Disclaimer: Nope, Sailor Moon wasn't, wouldn't, and will not be mine. The idea of the personal dream and the book The Alchemist belong to Paulo Coelho.

One more thing, before I move on, I would like to thank the people who reviewed my stories and gave me encouragement.

Darkevilchic (pumpkin pies.. never tried those.)

Lavender Ana (but it's not nice to eat that much.. I'm gaining weight with every story I write )

wyannick54 (yeah another Zoi/Ami fan!)

Fan (try reading aurora eos rose's stories. Those are soo cool!)

Ambre Wisniewski (thank you, you're too nice. I hope if you read this, you'll find this as good as the last one.)

Angel Salvia (someone said the same thing to me. But I have no idea how to fix it. I hope I've improved in this one)

thanks to ice and yosh for being my editors; i think they must be getting sick of my bad grammer.

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Lady Beryl made me a proposal I could not reject.

A chance that I would not let go. No matter how many times history repeats itself, I would still make that choice. It was the choice that made me betray Prince Endymion, a choice that acted as a catalyst that lead the Silver Millennium to its downfall and a choice that condemned myself to darkness for eternity.

I can still remember that day when I first saw her, Princess Ami of the Royal House of Mercury. I wouldn't forget that day or the short period of our meeting even if time washed away my identity, I would never let this piece of memory fade away.

For it was she who shaped my destiny.

So who was I? I was Zoisite of Nothing. I lived in a slum. My mother died when I was exceedingly young, then my honorable sire disowned me. I somehow managed to survive for many years before being rescued by Nephrite, a senior general. He gave me a place in the palace, on the condition that I would be the one of the Prince's close Guardians. But

to be honest, I wasn't very interested in becoming his highness's guardian, as I hadn't ever seen him before. However that opportunity was ticket to a better life. After entering the Prince's service, I had no desire or particular aim in life; I had a place to sleep, clothes to wear, and food to eat. I used to ask myself 'What else were there to life?'

The first time I saw her was when I snuck off from a training with Jadeite, my fencing teacher and my senior. I was on the way to the library until I saw her, a girl of my age, probably a year younger. Her blue hair was literally screaming 'Look at me!' as it was the most eye-catching aspect of her outward appearance (not to mention blue had always been my favorite color). She wore a light blue sleeveless summer dress, fitting for the warm weather in a summer afternoon. In her hand was a thick leather bound book that rested on her lap. She was dozing peacefully under the big oak tree that stands in the center of the Royal Garden. The wind blew, making her short blue hair to seemingly dance in the shadow cast by the protective branches of the big oak tree, the pages of book that she clutched protectively fluttered furiously, a contrast to her serene expression. Basically I just stared at her. I had never seen any girl as plain as she was, yet at the same time be so special in a way that touched my heart. However, I didn't have the time to talk to her, as I could hear Jadeite, who was shouting my name with various colorful words attached to it. So I quietly sneaked back, looking as innocent as possible at the furious Jadeite who reprimanded me for my tardiness while I pondered about the identity of the sleeping girl.

The second time I saw her was when I was walking aimlessly in the royal garden to work off the stress caused by the life in a royal court. She was sitting under the same big oak tree, scribbling furiously on a notebook with many other books scattered around her. I still didn't know who she was, I only knew she was a petite girl with the strangest hair color. I also knew that she was not from the palace. Her casual sleeveless summer dress was not the uniform of the servants in the palace, and she was definitely not one of the nobles' daughters, for she did not dress herself in the splendid finery many female aristocrats enjoyed showing off. The impression she gave me was of a spirit, a fleeting nymph that will disappear at the slightest disturbance.

And immediately after that I heard a crash. A blond girl in a strange hair-style, like meatballs on her hair, in a white dress came stumbling out of the bushes, crying her heart out. The blue-haired girl looked very alarmed as she quickly reached to the stranger's side, deep concern reflected off in her blue eyes, her arms were around the newcomer with the gentleness of a mother hugging a child and asked in a soft gentle voice, 'What happened? Usagi-chan. Did you hurt yourself?'

'Iie, I didn't hurt myself. But baka no Darien called me meatball head again.' At that Usagi began a full blasted wail.

The girl sweatdropped, as she hastily fumbled for a handkerchief. She gently wiped the tears off the face of the blond girl and asked, 'Then why did you come to see him anyway?'

'Are you crazy? Ami-chan? Not going to see Darien?' Miraculously the tears stopped as Usagi looked incredulously at Ami as if she had grown a second head.

'Why not? He keeps on hurting you.'

'Ooh Ami-chan, I swear one day, when you fall in love, you will understand.' At that Usagi looked as if she found the aim of her life while Ami just sighed as she picked up the scattered books and pieces of paper.

'We better leave now, it's getting late,' with that she led Usagi away, and a few moment later a bright light was seen, emitting from the direction where the girls walked to.

Their conversation intrigued me, as it now made a jigsaw puzzle: solving Her identity was even more challenging. Her name was the first piece of the jigsaw puzzle. She was no longer only a blue hair girl; she was a girl with an identity: Ami. I rolled her name on my tongue as if trying the sound of it. That name suited her, it was simple yet beautiful. The more I spoke of it, the more I liked it; I swore that just by saying her name could turn my gloomiest day into another sunny day. I continued to ponder at the relationship between the two girls. She seemed to be like a servant who followed the blond girl and watched over her like a guardian angel, yet their conversation lacked the distinct hierarchy behavior usually present between a noble born and a commoner.

Ever since that incident, every week at that particular time, I would hide in the bushes and wait for Ami to appear. Usagi would always appear, but there were also three others who accompanied her. They seemed to rotate to protect the Usagi. There was a girl with a red bow that tied her golden

hair up. She would dramatically whisper into Usagi's ear as if she was conspiring with Usagi who would then squeal happily before she turned to meet this 'Darien'. However, ironically the girl with the red bow would always intercept her by pulling her long ponytails, then dragged her by them, and disappearing in a beam of light. There was another watchful girl with her brown hair tied in a ponytail. She had a more active behavior. Every time Usagi cried, she would roll up her sleeves and march over to where 'Darien' was, as if to get into a fight while Usagi would desperately try to stop her. And finally there was a girl with black hair called Rei. She had a fiery temper and would always yell at Usagi at the slightest fault, and the reason I knew her name is every time Usagi would cry and wail in an even louder voice, 'Rei! You are soo mean to me!'

It was obvious that all four girls loved Usagi very much. Every action conveyed their worries and care for Usagi. Even the girl with black hair, who was seemingly being very nasty to Usagi, but she truly cared for Usagi's well being. Their relationships were very complex. They seemed to be good friends, but at the same time it seemed the other four girls were Usagi's guardians. Very intriguing.

As time passed, the desire to speak to Ami grew. Every time I saw her I would have this desire to walk up to her to get to know her. Each time, I would imagine her talking to me, laughing with me. Every time when I finally worked up the courage to go to talk to her, I would only find that she had left already with her charge. Funny and sad, that my life would revolve around her, not around the Prince. It took me three months to work up the courage to walk up with her and talk to her, with all the opening lines all rehearsed and the scenario of our meeting playing in my head.

So on that day, it was sunny... perfect day for the start of a perfect love story (okay... a bit over the top, but heck it was the most special day for me). I stood in front of the mirror fifty times, comb my long curly hair for at least the hundredth time, then checked for any wrinkles in my uniform and also for any strands of hair that were out of place, somehow escaping my hair tie. And to add to the list, endured the teasing of Jadeite and Nephrite for ten times (OH yes, those counted). Finally I was ready. I purposely marched up the hill, as my body was rigid with nervousness, my eyes fixed on my destination. I stood next to her... waiting for her to notice me.

She didn't.

I could literally feel my legs turn to jelly with fear. This is the only scenario I didn't expect to happen. She was supposed to face me and feel in love with me on first sight! Oh God! Why have you deserted me?

'Um... hello,' I stammered, after an eternity (of about a minute), raking my brain for an opening line.

She whirled around, deep blue eyes focused intently on my face. Fear, distrust, and curiosity flew rapidly across her face, and just as fast, her features relaxed into a blank mask, though distrust still showed through her eyes. At the same time, my eyes were absorbing every detail: soft doe-like eyes, white skin, feather-like hair that framed her doll-like face, deep blue eyes. One word to sum it up: cute.

'Hello...' She tentatively replied as she eyed me like a cat eyes a mouse. I wondered what she saw. I hoped she liked what she saw.

Silence reigned as I realized she had no interest in initiating a conversation. I internally shriveled up, I was never in a position of rejection, as girls flocked around me due to my will-be status and the peers that I have. 'Um... ah... Yes! So what are you doing?' I thought I got the perfect opening line as I stuttered, my tongue tripping over the simple words, only to immediately mentally smack myself for being an idiot: Zoisite! She is reading! 

'Reading,' she stated the obvious answer, looking at me with mild curiosity. Smart one, Zoisite. She probably thinks you're some weirdo. 

'No... what I mean is, what is the title of that book?'

'Oh...' she looked embarrassed. ' It's called The Alchemist.'

'Is it interesting?' Duh... why else is she reading it! Use your brain Zoisite! 

'Quite... it is about a shepherd traveling around the world to realize his personal dream.'

'Personal dream?' I said as I tried to casually sit beside her. I really needed to sit; it was not a good idea to collapse in front of her like a helpless blob of jelly.

'It's something like a destiny or fate, everything is aspiring for that destiny.' She said, still eyeing me with a cautious expression, though she did not move away from me, of which I was eternally thankful.

'Oh... I think I understand.' I thought about the power that alienated me from the others, and the rescue from the slum. It was as if the destiny had planned it. 'Do you think you have a personal dream?' I asked.

'Me? Yes, I guess so. Many people spend their life finding theirs, but mine was clear on the day I was born...'

'Oh...' I said softly, absorbing the underlying current of sadness present in her neutral tone. Silence hung between us once more as she seemed to be reluctant to continue. 'You don't like it?' It was more of a statement than a question.

She looked surprised before answering softly, 'Both yes and no, I suppose. This destiny allowed me to know people who love me for who I am and respect me.' She gave a short laugh, which was a hollow sound to my ears, before saying softly and wistfully, 'but sometimes...sometimes I truly wonder what would happen if I didn't have this destiny'. She stopped for a minute before continuing, 'I have always wanted to be a healer, a tiny little dream compared to the large responsibility I have.' She stretched her arms in front of her as if to hide her face from me, but the longing was still visible to me as she focused her eyes on the horizon.

I silently thought, what and where would I be if I refused Neph-kun's offer in the first place? I shuddered as the image of the slum, the rats, dirty water, punches, and threats swam to the surface, for that moment I felt blessed to have this destiny and the opportunity to meet her.

'There will always be something good that destiny has planned,' I said, voicing my opinion.

She smiled a sad, resigned, small smile, and I found my heart aching for her. As she casually said, unaware of her effect on me, ' The book said that as all matter in this Universe aspire for the completion of the personal dreams, there would be an ultimate reward... I thought about it, it could be wealth, status...'

'Meeting me,' I flippantly added, hoping to get a reaction from her, a blush, a bright smile, anything that would make her happy.

She gave a small giggle, eyes twinkled merrily without that distrust that guarded and blocked her window of the soul or that sadness that was present in her eyes just seconds before. She looked lovely. 'Perhaps. Perhaps not.

No one know what the destiny plans, we are, after all, just pawns of an immense chess game with two faceless players.'

I smiled at her perceptive insight, and for my luck of finding someone with her intellect. I felt a grin tugging my lips, it was a long time since I had such an interesting conversation.

Suddenly, she stopped, looking startled before sheepishly turned to me and said, 'How rude of me, we've been talking for quite a long time and I still don't know your name.'

I stammered, 'Zoisite. Zoisite Suisho, the Fourth General of the Golden Kingdom,' I quickly added my will-be title, hoping that would make a good impression on her.

'Please to meet you General Zoisite,' she replied. 'My name is ......'

'AMMIIII'

The cry caused me to jump in front of Ami, wanting to protect her. My hands immediately reached for the saber hanging at my side, only to find air. I cursed as I remembered I had left my saber in the training room. Oh great work, Zoisite, I thought dryly. How are you suppose to protect her with no weapons? , I scowled angrily at myself.

The bushes near the big oak tree ruffled and twigs snapped under pressure, as a bundle of white and gold tumbled out of the bushes onto the ground.

The protective instinct I had seen so many times before snapped back into action, as Ami ran past me to her charge. She quickly checked for any signs of bruises or cuts from the fall, and at the same time whispered soothing words to the blond who was sobbing incoherent words.

'Is she alright?' I finally asked, more because of manner, than any real concern. Usagi looked up, surprised to find a stranger, her misery quickly forgotten as she looked back and forth between Ami and me. Ami also noticed her changed in demeanor and the looks of pure mischievousness on her face.

'What are you thinking? Usagi-chan,' Ami sighed.

'Nothing, you worry too much,' Usagi quickly answered her, while she tried to look innocent, but was unable to hid the twinkling in her blue eyes.

'Anyway. Konnichwa!' She greeted me in her loud and bubbly voice.

I stepped back, taken backed by her hyperactive tone and a drastic change in mood, before answering in a cautious tone. 'Konnichiwa.'

'Well well well. Ami-chan, you didn't tell me that you were hiding a guy from the rest of the girls,' Usagi purred, enjoyment and mirth coloring her tone.

'Usagi-chan, honestly, I only saw him today!' Ami protested, her face was like a flaming torch. ' And why would I want to hide a guy? I'm not interested in any relationship!'

I frowned at the last sentence.

'Tsk tsk. Introduction? Have you forgotten your manners? Dear teacher?' Usagi continued to tease her, and apparently she enjoyed that immensely as she looked like a cat that got the canary.

'Usagi-chan,' Ami said with an exasperated sigh, her eyes rolled upward as if asking, 'why me?'

I quickly intervened, 'My name is Zoisite Suisho,' while I studied closely the blond girl before me. 'She has a crescent on her forehead, from the moon,' I thought, storing the information away. Meanwhile Usagi had already hopped onto her feet, anticipation shining brightly from her blue eyes, like a child waiting for sweets. She introduced herself in a cheerful tone. 'My name is Usagi, as you can hear from Ami-chan there.' She nodded her head in Ami's direction. 'You can call me Usagi-chan if you want to.Um... well I guess you know we're from the Moon,' she said while she gestured to the crescent on her forehead. 'It's a really good place, beautiful and quiet, although it is a bit to quiet for my taste. I'm sure Ami would disagree with me as she enjoys the quiet atmosphere to read books. Now if you had a chance to go to the moon, make sure you visit me and of course also Ami-chan.' She winked at me, as if knowing some secret that I didn't know. 'You could even stay in the Pal..' She stopped suddenly and glared at Ami, while I wondered how big her lung was to be able to speak for so long without stopping.

'She meant her mansion,' Ami softly intervened. She sighed and said, 'I guess you know my name, since she shouted it so many times. But since I haven't formally introduce myself...My name is Ami Suikiri. I'm Usagi-chan's guardian and teacher.' She bowed formally, before she continued, her deep blue eyes boring into mine, 'I'm honored to meet a person with such a high status. And I have enjoyed our conversation immensely. Unfortunately we have to leave right now. If by chance, we meet again, I hope we can continue our conversation. Good bye.' She picked up her book by the tree and then led Usagi to the forest away from the palace. I watched them leave until I saw the same beam of light from the forest.

I stood there for a long time. I smiled, delighted to find an extraordinary woman. I never saw a woman so independent that carried herself with such dignity. She never even looked back once! I found myself useless and selfish when compared to her. I grinned as I made a pledge to myself to become a man that was worthy of her status, her affection, and love, a man that would make her look back.

Ever since that first meeting, I had been working hard. My social time had diminished to almost next to nil; no more parties or games. Sure, I still made time to see Ami, that time was always the highlight of the day. We would talk about anything under the stars, but still my knowledge on Ami's background was still where I had started. But that did not matter, as long as we were together, as long as...

Anyway back to the story.

I poured all my effort to gain approval from my peers and the Prince. The approval needed to gain the rank of the Fourth General of the Golden Kingdom. Jadeite and Kunzite, the head general, were surprised at the progress I had made been getting at, while Nephrite nodded his head as if he had expected that change. Why the hurry? One of the reasons was the Golden Kingdom would soon send envoys to the Moon Kingdom, to discuss possibility of an alliance, hence joining the Earth to the Silver Millennium. It was a gesture to lessen the tension caused by a rumor on Earth about the uprising of a rebellion group that was against the Silver Millennium. The second reason was that I had to get the eligibility to be able to see Ami, for she was on the Moon, the center of the Silver Millennium. The last reason was because of the pledge I had made to myself. Surely a man with a position in the Earth Army was worthier than a squire or a street rat a few months ago. A man with this position must be adequate to satisfy the etiquette of the society and hence her hand in marriage.

Ah, the thought of marriage always pasted a lopsided grin on my face. Yep, you could see I had thought it all out, all meticulously planned out.

Finally the sweat and hard work paid off. I clutched the gold medal with an oak tree etched on it. It was the symbol of wisdom, one of the four pillars that upheld the Golden Kingdom: strength; loyalty, courage, and wisdom. My advisors and peers stood proudly behind me, signs of approval on their face as they observed my oath ceremony. Their happiness came from the thoughts about the benefits that this ceremony would bring. But my happiness stemmed from a totally different reason; I was a step closer to my goal, I could see the end of my pledge. How strange it was that two completely different reasons could generate the same happiness on our faces.

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Finally the big day had came. My first time in a space ship was not a pleasant experience. And boy was I glad to stumble out of the spaceship with my stomach still in place. Neph-kun pulled me up and patted my back. "Come on, straighten up little man, the ambassadors are here," he said, nodding in the direction of the palace. I lifted my head, and became speechless. The palace was beautiful, white marble that gleamed in the sun, with spirals that reached for the stars. A misty haze semi-covered the ground, lending the palace an air of mystery and ethereal beauty.

At the far distance, a person was walking toward us. Her dark, wavy hair was in buns, which immediately reminded me of Usagi. Is that the typical hairstyle of Lunarians? She stood in front of us and curtseyed with the grace of a feline.

'Welcome to the Moon Kingdom. I hope that you had a pleasant trip. Unfortunately, the Queen herself is working on a ball that will be held tonight on your behalves, so she asked me to extend the warmest greetings and ask for your apologies for unable to greet you in person. My name is Luna, the advisor to Queen Selenity.'

I frowned while Endymion and Luna chatted quietly, a ball? This will take ages before I can sneak off to the city to find Ami. I heaved a sigh.

'Something is bothering you. A penny for your thoughts,' Jadeite said, who had noticed my sigh..

I tried my best to fake a smile. 'Nothing, just nervous,' I replied.

'Stop the meaningless chat. Now get some rest. We'll meet in Prince Endymoin's room at 6:30 sharp,' Kunzite said, interrupting us.

'Yes sir,' I cried, faking the enthusiasm.

'Aye, aye, I heard you,' drawled Jadeite. 'Hey Zoi-kun, If I were you, Id make sure I look my best, I've heard that Lunarian ladies are beautiful. You might want to catch one yourself.'

I smiled, no use, Jad-kun, someone already snared my heart long ago. 

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Being the youngest of the four was definitely not useful. No one would take you seriously. And more importantly, they would pat you on the back and treat you like a kid. This fact was so apparent when I stood next to them, always the shortest, always behind them. Somehow I always wondered when would I grow taller. I'm only a few inches taller than Ami. Even as we kneel before the throne, Kunzite-san and Neph-kun would be in front of me, Jade-kun would be beside me, as if to protect, or rather, to keep an eye on me. Honestly I really wished they didn't; this made sneaking off harder.

'Welcome to the Moon Kingdom. My apologizes for unable to greet you in person when you first arrived...'

Damn protocol, this will take ages before I can sneak off, even if the queen has a nice voice. But still... I thought as I fingered the ring in my breast pocket nervously. My dream was engraved inside the ring. I managed to find this ring before I left Earth. It was of a simple design, a plain platinum ring. It was the perfect representation of what I felt for Ami, a plain and simple love. I had specifically asked the goldsmith to inscribe "together forever" in the inner curve of the ring, yep very sappy and corny. I felt that the sides of my lips twitching upward into a smile. I could bet that it was the goofy type.

"Zoisite! Concentrate!" Jadeite hissed angrily.

Confused, I looked up. And my world crumbled down. My angel was standing behind the Queen, who was saying, "Princess Ami of Mercury." She nodded in response. She was beautiful, wearing a sleeveless, ice-blue dress that complimented her blue hair. A sapphire tiara crowned her head, proclaiming her status. She looked so regal and royal, nothing of the plain Ami that I knew. She saw me, but then she quickly lowered her head and looked at the floor.

Is she embarrassed because she knows me? I thought. I never knew that rejection could hurt so much. She was standing on the dais fitting of her status. While I was kneeling, looking up at her. What a cruel joke, I thought bitterly, to fall in love with someone and to know that you will never have her. Was she secretly laughing at me? That a street-rat was actually trying to court her? I bit my lips, as waves of denial and despair washed over me. My eyes lowered as pools of tears threatened to fall. No, I won't cry. I won't. Because boys don't cry.

"So let the ball begin." Queen Serenity finally proclaimed. And the hall erupted to cheers and music. Dully I made my way to the side, my heart was not into enjoying myself. How could she lie to me? I thought angrily.

"Oy, Zoi-kun, look, a group of beautiful princesses is coming toward us." Jadeite whispered, glee and excitement tinting his voice. They won't know what hit them," he said, as he combed his hair back in a confident manner.

I looked up and saw the princesses shuffling toward us. In the middle was Princess Ami. She was being pushed by her friends. They all had mischievous smiles on their faces. I quickly turned my attention to the small palm trees next to me; I didn't want to see her.

Suddenly Usagi (whose real identity was Princess Serenity) launched herself onto Endymion and proceed to drag him onto the dance floor. The other princesses just smiled before each curtseyed before a respective general.

Princess Venus had a secret smile as she curtseyed elegantly before Kunzite, who also had a gentle smile of indulgence, before he led Princess Venus to the dance floor. Next Princess Jupiter curtseyed gracefully as Nephrite bowed gallantly and took her hand. Before leaving, she turned and called out 'Good luck Ames!'

While the first two princesses acted to their status, Princess Mars was another story. Her hands were on her hip while she glared impatiently at Jadeite, 'So, are you gonna ask me?'

Jadeite just pursed his lips thoughtfully and drawled, 'well...'

'You're impossible!' With that, she dragged away the last general. Before she left, she called out, 'You better do what we told you to do! Otherwise my 'sacrifice' with this jerk will be wasted!'

Ami's shocked voice whispered, 'Rei! Your manners!'

Rei only shrugged, obviously she knew Jadeite, who had a face-cracking grin on this face.

Finally only we were left. A very uncomfortable silence descended as the last princess left us, the silence that was over us stiffening and oppressive.

Ami stammered, 'So how are you?' the first to break this silence.

"Fine". Is she panicking? Serves her right, I thought, brainlessly directing all my anger at her.

'Oh, that's good then,' was her soft reply.

Silence again.

'Zoisite, are you angry at me?'

'What made you think that?'

'Because you're not looking at me.'

Angrily I glared at her and immediately wished I didn't, for I felt the anger draining and despair rising. Her hands clasped in front of her. Her head bowed and shoulders slumped. I could bet on my life that she felt nervous, insecure and... when was it that I could read her like a book and vice versa?

'Why?' she prompted for an answer, looking up, her blue eyes boring into mine. I fought back the urge to laugh, nothing can really change her; always the inquisitive one who will only search for the answers, but never the reason behind it.

'Surely people of your high status wouldn't have time for a lowly commoner like me,' I sneered.

Surprise, then anger and sadness flashed through her eyes as her posture stiffened, 'Why,' she prompted once again, but this time the warmth in her voice had left.

Angrily I felt for the ring in my breast pocket, held it out to her and let it fell onto the floor. It hit the floor with a dull clang that rang loudly in my ears despite of the buzzing ambience. Slowly she knelt down to pick it up, observing the damn ring that rested on her palm. Her eyes widened at the inscription carved in the inner part of the ring.

And my heart twisted painfully. She would now know that secret that I harbored. I wondered if she understood the sorrow and despair I felt; my ring would never adorn her wedding finger.

'Ami-chan!' a voice called out, I looked at the newcomer and instantly insane jealousy coursed through my veins. A man, with light golden hair, in a white tuxedo walked toward us. A man that could be described as the golden boy, he must be a prince. He stood in front of us, a man of taller than me, he was about two or three years older than Ami. 'He's too old

for her,' I thought disapprovingly.

'I hope I'm not disturbing anything' he said smoothly, voicing a sentence with hidden insinuation. His royal blue eyes searched for mine, fierce protectiveness for Ami shown through his stance.

'No, of course not, Haruka-san,' Ami hurriedly said.

'Then would my dear princess grace me with a dance?' He asked with a gentle smiled. Ami automatically blushed.

And I didn't like what I saw. But what could I do? Me, a lowly commoner compared to this prince, no prize in guessing who shined more. It was best to get out of this crisis then to suffer a more humiliating event later. So I intervened before Ami could reject, 'Please, do keep her highness company, and do excuse me, Princess Ami, I think my company is needed else where,' with that final insult, I walked stiffly away, head up high, but my heart dragging.

Oh great work boy, you just gave her away! A chibi-sized me appeared, lifted his feet to execute a high kick at my head, now if I could only kick some sense into your dense head. 

Thanks, the first thing I get is a scolding. Shut up, I thought as I reached the balcony, leaning against the rail, looking back into the ballroom. I needed to get some fresh air, because I was starting to see red. You're not getting off that easily! I have no idea why you were such a cow back there. Hello? Your manners? 

Well, do excuse me. I snarled back, remorse eating me. I knew I shouldn't have said and acted the way I did, but those were intuitive defenses. I needed to protect myself from her, from these feeling, otherwise I would lose myself.

Ha, so you're admitting that you're a jerk, and that you couldn't live without her now... I...muffled muffle as I mentally stuffed him with a gag. I had no need for any reminders of her. So I turned my attention from her, at least I tried to, thinking about my homeland seemed to be a good starting point.

Now, where to start, the scenery was beautiful, serene like the ruler. Earth was hanging like a great jewel in the black velvet sky, and the blue sea just reminded me of her hair... damn, stop thinking about her! 

Come on, just admit that you are dumb for letting her go. 

Groan Since when did my conscience have such a sharp mouth? And where is that useless gag?

And you're wondering what their relationship is, smirked Chibi-me. I froze, that little brat hit on the right spot. Awww... how sad. That's what eating you, right? 

Do you know that you have a loud mouth? 

That is such a sad comeback. And for your information, that, I think, is a characteristic of yourself as well, he grinned smugly.

Why you.... 

'My my! Dear Lord Zoisite, are you arguing with yourself?' an amused female voice asked, effectively stopping the argument, a-hem, I meant the discussion with myself.

I looked at the newcomer. Another Earthen like myself. Long flaming red hair that fell to her hip, a low cut, tight dress that hugged her body like a second skin. Black stones hung from her ears. A beautiful person, but of the boisterous type.

'Lady Beryl,' I greeted her. She was one of the more outspoken anti-Lunarian party in the court, and one of the many secret admirers of the prince, one of the more active and vocal in pursuit as well. She joined me at the rail overlooking the garden.

'I sense great turmoil from you. Do you wish to share it?' she asked, almost mechanically, looking at the Moon garden with barely covered disdain.

'Oh really, and how do you know?' I had never liked her; scheming, dangerous, and power-thirsty, a combination that made dangerous enemies. But in spite of this, any distraction from my misery was, from my point of view, heaven sent.

'I have my sources,' she smiled what she thought was a secretive smile. Glee shown from her eyes, that belied her sympathetic tone. 'Let's get to the point, I know you're the smart one in the four generals, and basically going in circles won't help me much, and I would be wasting my breath. I'm proposing a gift of your heart's desire in return for your help.'

'You're not being overly clear, Lady Beryl, are there some secrets that you're hiding?'

'What do you think of this kingdom?' she asked, not answering my question.

'Peaceful, friendly.'

'Do you really believe that? Surly a man of your intelligence and background would know the truth. People of a less fortunate background are looked down at jeered at; this is an universal truth.' She stopped for a second as if for dramatic effect. 'So what makes you think that Lunarians don't look down upon us? This ball is a joke. Nothing but a joke,' she said bitterly, glaring balefully at the beautiful dancers in the luminous ballroom. 'And the Silver Alliance will fail, the ideal of the Silver Alliance is a farce. There is no harmony between planets, no fairness.'

'Why this speech about ideology?' I asked. My curiosity perked, quite amazed to hear something like this from a publicly known air-head with only one aim in life.

'Earth needs to be strong to overtake the Silver Alliance. We need to become theleader in this solar system. We need to protect ourselves. We need to free ourselves from the chains of the Lunarians'. Her eyes dilated and lost their focus, her voice took on a hissing accent. 'Join me, and I will give you your heart's desire, be it the king of a planet or magic of unbelievable strength.'

'Either you join me, or I'll kill you, your choice,' she continued chillingly in a hollow tone, as if another entity spoke through her lips. 'Your intelligence is valuable, but it will be useless to me if it is used against me. It's not wise to leave potential enemies lying around,' she hissed, void of emotion.

'What makes you think that I would join you?' I scoffed, trying to cover my sense of confusion at this sudden change of events.

'You're loyalty toward the prince is not as deep as the others'. And there is something that you desire, yet you know you can't have. But I can give it to you. But more importantly is that you're one of the four pillars that hold up the Golden Kingdom, one of the few connections to Elysia itself. Total control over Elysia means total domination over this planet.'

She held up her hand as I opened my mouth to reply. " Listen. This is an offer I won't make again. There is something that you want that this society can't give you. And you despaired of it. But despair not, for what this world can not give you, I can. I can give any thing you want. Anything.'

As if summoned, a vision of her flashed through my mind, causing a wanting so great that it stabbed my heart painfully. 'Anything?' I asked softly, slightly shocked at the yearning present in my voice.

'Anything.'

I bit my lips, weighing the options. Again I envisioned her in my arms. My mind was made up. 'Who are you? What is your name?' I blurted out, and I shamefully looked down, clutching my fists at my side. I became dreadfully aware the enormity of my sentence. You've got to be joking! Don't you dare! Zoisite! 

'My name is Metallica,' Beryl smiled sardonically, triumphant glowing eerily from her eyes.

'What do I have to do?' Do you know what are you doing? I knew. And I knew that I shouldn't have asked. I knew intuitively that I had stepped across the point of no return. I knew that I just branded my soul for eternity. But for that chance just to have her by my side...

'Close your eyes, and that's all I ask of you.'

No! Stop! 

A small action to obtain my heart's desire, And I did it. I never knew what hit me, for darkness had overwhelmed me.

Dead. That was what I felt. Void of emotion. My saber held limply in my hand, the blood of my enemies dripping from it. I stood at the edge of the plateau and looked at the haze-covered battlefields below, listening to the clashes made by the swords, the screams of pain and the cries of exultation.

I licked my lips. Anxiety was taking a toll on me. How long will this last? The battle, the blood, the screams. It had seemed like eternity since that the war had started, but actually it only had been a few weeks. But I was so tired. Tired of this war. Tired of the fight. Tired of the blood. But there was a part of me that rejoiced at this carnage. A part that was not me; an alien, yet that had found its host in me.

When would this end? No, it was just a matter of time before the Moon Kingdom fell. Then what would happen?

I shifted my stance, the haze was lifting. I could see the silver glint of a sword, clashing with another held by Kunzite. Kunzite was fighting with the legendary Sailor Venus, leader of the Senshi. The Senshi, the primary reason this war had dragged out for so long. That group was the most obvious obstacle between Queen Beryl and the Moon Kingdom. Without them, this war would have ended sooner, more lives would be safe.

What would happen if I shot an arrow now? Her back was facing me. The Senshi would be left without their leader, a perfect chance. Queen Beryl would be pleased. And I would have my heart's desire...which was what? I didn't know, but that didn't matter. Nothing did anymore.

I held out my hand, and willed a crystal shaft to existence. Lets end this war, I thought grimly, took aim and fired at Venus.

What I didn't expect was a flash of blue that flew to protect Venus, just as she cut down Kunzite.

There was the sickening crunch sound of the bones. The fuku-cladded body doubled up and landed in a heap in front of Venus. A pool of blood began to gather around the body. Venus screamed. A loud cry that carried the loss and sadness, anger and hate across the battlefield. Somewhere deep inside my soul wrenched in response to the intense emotion emanated from that cry. Suddenly an odd desire washed over me, to see which Senshi did

I kill, from which planet. Methodically, I shot several more crystals at the still-hysterical Venus, and saw her go down. Seeing that the ground was clear, I jumped down from the plateau to the battlefield and reached to the body. The fuke was fading away before my eyes, a sure sign that the person was dead or would soon be dead soon. In replace of the fuku, the light-blue sleeveless summer dress began to take shape before my eyes. I took the body into my arms, turning it to see the face.

And reality came crumbling down. The haze in my brain lifted. Clear memories about everything that I treasured overwhelmed me. My memories about my life in the palace and my training with the Generals. About the Prince and the Princess, and a blue-haired girl with sad blue eyes, who sat under the great oak tree in the garden of the Palace. This girl, my heart's desire.

"Ami..." I croaked, a name I hadn't said for the last passing weeks. Her breathing was shallow, as if she was saving her energy. Her blood was everywhere, tinting her dress a dark glorious purple. She eyes opened slightly, fighting to focus on my face. "Oh god... Ami, forgive me, please forgive me..."

"Zoisite," she smiled wanly, relief temporary lightened her dull eyes.

"Idiot! Don't speak, you're losing too much blood," I replied softly, my heart breaking as I ripped my uniform to make makeshift bandage.

"There's nothing to be done," she paused, "I thought you would leave me, never to come back," she said softly, like whispers between lovers, her hand lifted to caress my face gently just like the touch of the snowflakes.

"No, never." Capturing her hand, I felt a ring on her finger. Incredulously I looked at it.

"I never gave you an answer, did I?" she asked. "I love you, Zoisite," she whispered, "it's a really simple sentence, why didn't I say it before," she paused, frowning slightly before stating "That sounded really cliched, but..." a genuine and happy smile graced her features. Her eyes

slowly closed, and her hand lost its strength.

"Please, don't. I need you, I need you..." She gave me no response. I frantically felt for her pulse. None. She died by my hand. I bowed, shaking my head furiously. "No, this can't happen...please don't..." I mumbled numbly, incoherent thoughts and strings of emotion flow out, growing stronger and stronger. Slowly, sorrow, hate, despair all snowballed into one, fighting to get out. "Beryl! Damn you! You promised! YOU PROMISED!" I screamed into the dark sky. Suddenly something stabbed through me, stopping my sentence. I stared dumbly at the blood-bathed blade protruding from my chest and the torrent of blood that poured out of the fatal wound, bathing Ami with my blood.

"She loved you," she said in a flat voice. "She was for once truly happy, but you betrayed her, just as Kunzite betrayed me. But unlike me, she forgave you." A searing pain tore through my body as she slowly pulled out the sword, decidedly to stretch the torture as long as possible, " I sincerely hope you got what you wanted, otherwise the fall of our kingdom, the death of thousands of people and her death would be wasted."

I barely heard her slowly staggered away from me. Her question whirled inside my head. No, I didn't get what I want, I destroyed it with my own hands. How ironic, I thought bitterly.

I slowly shifted, using my fast depleting strength to cradle Ami's body close to mine. "Ne, beloved, it seems that I would be joining you soon," I whispered into her ears. I took a shuddering breath, lifted my hand to caress her face. My fingers trembled as they combed through her short blue hair, an action that I yearned to do since that summer day. "I haven't told you either, and I haven't asked you yet... I love you, will you be my wife?" I croaked, the pressure on my chest increased. It hurt. I looked at her face, so peaceful as if she was just sleeping. I tried to chuckle, forcing the blood out of my lungs. "But you can't hear me, never..." I asked in a broken voice, "Please, one more promise. Promise that you will wait for me." But I never heard any answer, as a resounding explosion took off from the general direction of the palace.

Owari

So. Tissue anyone? I'm aiming to get some tears out for this fic. Please please please review. I need some constructive comments. Actually telling me you've cried is fine as well. mail me 


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